Unscheduled Break

I seem to have taken a long unscheduled break. I even forgot my password to log in once I tried to post something today - ha!
But no worries, all is well.
In less than 6 weeks, we’re expecting our fourth child. And not a pony this time! I’m excited to find out the gender, to see those perfect fingers and toes, to rub that soft newborn hair which I know will be dark brown or black. I hope he/she has chubby cheeks, and chubby legs. I look forward to those first moments of meeting the baby, of looking into their dark blue eyes, holding them in my arms and feeling the weight of another being that God has placed in my care. There is nothing like those first few moments, and I will defintely relish them.

But there is another part of me that fears what is about to happen. I’m afraid of delivery, after what we went through after having Lex, I’m terrified of experiencing that again. After his deliver my blood count went from 13 to 6.5 - my bp dropped to 80/20, and I was barely conscious. He was delivered without drugs and the pain in my stomach AFTER delivery was almost too much to bear. After having him, I even said there was no way I would have another, for fear of bleeding to death. That obviously didn't hold up :)
I also fear the change our family is about to go through - again. A family of five to a family of six. And I was just getting used to our "new normal" after Kevin's return from Iraq.
But for the sake of the family, I will look at the bright side of things. Could haves, should haves, and would haves don't count. I will put my trust in God that the deliver will be smooth, and the baby healthy, and mommy healthy too. Because He knows what will happen, and worrying on my part won't change anything.

So other than my legs / feet / hands swelling up like a balloon, things are going great. I have outgrown most of my clothes, especially pants. And I need to slow down and rest every now and again, but there is too much life to experience, too much to do. We got our new pony, and Kevin has been spending many evenings outside clearing brush from the woods, burning dead trees. I've been playing with the kids, with bubbles and bikes, and trying not to collapse at the end of the day. But when baby says rest, I have no choice but to rest. Which is good, I want this little one to be healthy and happy, and I would like to stay healthy too.
So on that note, I must be off. There is laundry to do, and packing for a weekend trip to WV. And cleaning, and getting a few more things for the kid's Easter baskets.
I hope everyone has a blessed and safe Easter Holiday, enjoy your family and friends, remember that Jesus died for us, and that He is the reason we are saved.

Until next time!

33 weeks - getting TIRED



34 weeks - not showing my face because I had just woken up from a nap :D