Exhaustion

All of you mommies out there know what it is like. Being so tired it takes forever to fall asleep, and then waking up when you hear the baby start to shift around and grunt, knowing that she is hungry. Again. Being wide awake at 2 am for the 28th day in a row (or so it feels like), with the realization that in a few hours three other kids will be awake vying for your attention and time.
Last night was the culmination of three nights and three days of hardly any sleep for Miss Callie or her mommy. There was fussiness to the extent that I almost moved up her doctor's appointment to find out what was wrong. I was so very very tired, I was swaying on my feet as I tried unsuccessfully to get her to settle down last night. She was awake basically from 4pm - 11pm. Crying, grimacing, kicking and squirming. She tried to fall asleep numerous times but always woke herself up. When I was finally able to put her down, I fell into some sort of coma, sure that in two hours she would be up again like the last three days and nights.
Thankfully, God heard my pleas, my tear-filled prayers, and she slept until 5:30. Today, she must have been exhausted, because she was fairly quiet all day and fell asleep twice in her bouncy seat. Unheard of this week. Even now, she is sleeping, and has been for FOUR HOURS. I would wake her up, but doing that doesn't gain me more sleep time at night. And she needs the rest.
So do I.
But even in the midst of the sleep-deprivation and the baby who refuses to calm her squirming and screaming, I know that it is all worth it. And I would rather be here at home, comatose tending to four children, than working. I can't help but think about the day I have to go back, though it is 5.5 weeks away. I won't think about it, instead enjoy the time with my children.
Next week we're headed to Holiday World, weather permitting. A mini-vacation that the kids are so excited about. I am, too. Except the bathing suit part of it, not sure how I'm going to get through that. Ughhhh. Having a 10lb baby (well, 2 10lb babies, a 9lb baby, and an 8lb baby) does things to your stomach. I start jogging tonight.
Anyway, I'm off to check on Miss Callie. Again. For a while there, I thought the poor baby had forgotten how to sleep. Thankfully, she has figured out exactly how to close her eyes and keep them that way. I can only hope and pray she remembers how to when it is my bedtime, too!!