And they say

That newborns can't smile :D

I need to get down to some serious picture taking, but I've been going through my usual excruciating nursing pain (even after FOUR KIDS) so we're working hard to get the pain to disappear. Or at least get better. And tomorrow?
My first day with all four kids, alone. Wow, I have four kids. Isn't that amazing? Callie is a beautiful and sweet child, even though it usually looks like she's scowling. She is awake for long periods, just staring at everything, with that intense newborn wonder on her face.
Ahhhh . . . isn't life grand with a new baby around??

And we have a . . .

Baby GIRL!!!













Finally, she has arrived. I'm going to share her birth story before the details get fuzzy, sorry if it's long . . .

I was wondering if I would go into labor on my own. I knew the odds were in my favor, considering that I was overdue, and I had told Kevin on Friday May 22 that I would probably have the baby that weekend. I told him the same thing again on Saturday. But when Sunday came and still no baby, I started to wonder. However, on Monday morning at 2:30 I woke up with three very distinct, very close contractions. I jumped out of bed and told Kevin I was having contractions before I went into the living room to see how far apart and if they would stay. They were 4-5 minutes apart, and they stayed. So I hung out and watched Lake Placid, wondering when I would start to hurt. After a couple hours I went back to bed, but couldn't really sleep because the contractions, though not painful, kept waking me up. So about 6am I got up and told everyone (my parents were visiting) that we needed to get some breakfast because I was starving. I knew that if this was the day I needed some food, and I didn't know how much time we had.
So we went to breakfast, and came home, but the contractions didn't get stronger. I was getting discouraged and came home to nap again. When I woke up, they were still coming, but still no stronger. So I took a walk, hoping to increase intensity, but still no change. Exasperated, unsure if my parents needed to stay to watch the kids (though pretty sure) we headed to the hospital about noon just to get checked. I fully planned on coming home to labor as much as I could before going in. I was so sure I was coming home that Lex was with us, and I didn't bring my hospital bag. They said I had to be put on a fetal strip for 20 minutes and then I could go home. She hooked me up and checked me, and by this time I was having some stronger contractions. I was very disappointed I was still only at 1cm, almost 2cm, but surprised to see the contractions were coming about every 3-4 minutes now.
Then we waited.
And at the end of my 20 minutes, the nurse was concerned the baby was *sleepy* and gave me some juice to wake the baby up. And restarted my 20 minutes. By this time I wanted to get out of that bed and off the monitors, the contractions were getting stronger, and I REALLY disliked lying on my back.
But shortly into the 2nd 20 minutes the baby's heartbeat pretty much disappeared. It dropped drastically, stayed down, and for a few moments could barely be picked up. The nurse got really scared and called in another nurse who also had trouble getting the heartbeat to come back up. So I was rolled over, given oxygen and the doctor was called. Of course by now, as I listened to this very slow heartbeat I was getting very, very scared and wondered if it was going to lead into an emergency C-section. I was very terrified for the health of the little one.
Thankfully, after a time, the heartbeat came back up, but by this time I knew I probably wasn't going to be getting out of the hospital. They checked me and I was at 3cm now. After the doctor called back the nurse came in and told me they wanted to start an IV to get fluids to the baby, and to monitor the heartbeat for a while. I didn't have to stay, but worried about the baby, I chose to be given an IV (which I didn't want), and be hooked up to the strips (which I didn't want) and be confined to the bed (which I also didn't want).
Thankfully, after a while they told me I could get up and move around, this was good because contractions were picking up. The heartbeat stayed up, and they started setting up the birthing tub in another room. By this time I was only at 3-4 cm. I bounced around on my exercise ball, and generally hung out, having to breathe through the contractions. Some were triple peaked, by this time they were 2-3 minutes apart.
Time crawled after that, all I could think about was getting into the tub for pain management. It was the first time anyone had used it at and there was a learning curve. The nurse didn't really want me to get in because of the early decel in heartrate, but I really wanted to use it. Finally, after finding a thermometer, getting the tub set up and filled, and talking to the doctor, I had to be checked AGAIN. I didn't want that much intervention but they wanted to be sure I was progressing. I was at 5cm - and more than ready to get into the tub. I think I got in around 4:30 - 4:45. It was wonderful, and definitely helped manage the pain. By this time I was concerned the contractions were spacing out, definitely manageable, getting stronger, but I just couldn't get over the break in between them. I wondered if it would be hours until the baby was born.
I had to stand up every 15 minutes so they could check the baby's heartbeat, and usually it came around the time of a contraction (what fun). At about 5:30 I really started to have trouble, no longer feeling good in between contractions, and at 5:45 I felt something happen. The doctor was called in and she thought my water broke, I told her I didn't think so, that it was probably the baby moving down. I had to get out and get checked. With all my shaking I was sure I was moving into transition - and when the doctor checked I was at 7cm. She thought if she broke my water I would be an 8 or 9. I consented, there was meconium, and I immediately went to 9cm. And had what felt to be a very long, continuous contraction. We got ready for delivery, I didn't want the tradition feet in stirrups thing, and the doctor was fine with whatever I wanted.
Now I was having a hard time coping, I was still not quite at 10cm, and starting to lose control. I remember saying once that I couldn't do it, and that I needed to throw up. Then I said I had to push and she checked before telling me that I was complete! I tried to listen to instruction (they wanted to suction the baby before full delivery because of the meconium) but I just wanted to deliver the baby. A couple of contractions later and she was able to suction out the nose / mouth, and then the rest of the baby was delivered. I remember screaming / yelling, and the immense pain from delivering the little one. I knew then that he/she was big.
I turned around to see the baby in the warmer, they told me the baby was fine, and that we had a baby girl!!
She was born at 6:01 pm, was 10lb 7oz, and 21 inches long. Full head of dark hair, chubby cheeks, and a perfect round head. Another very fast delivery.
I lost a lot of blood (again) but not near as much as with Lex. It was the birth experience that I wanted, no pain meds, using the tub as pain management, and once labor started going it didn't stop. The hospital and doctor were able to accommodate what I wanted - and I am grateful for that. It truly wasn't as difficult as Lex's labor, and the hard part was over quickly. I wouldn't have had it any other way :)

Now, having her here, I'm just amazed all over again at how God has blesses us. He knew what we needed, and Callie is it!!

Comfy Cozy

Well, the little one seems to be very comfortable right now. He/she is still showing no signs of arriving, though I know that the moment could come at any time. I'm a day past my due date, hopeful for a weekend baby.
My due date wasn't one that I'd like to remember - after coming home from work I noticed Rosie (the pony) walking gingerly on her front feet. My first thought was founder, and we took her off grass while I called the vet. He couldn't come out until today and I had nightmares all night we would have to put her down. Thankfully when he came this morning he said we caught it early, and she will be just fine. But we'll have to get a grazing muzzle - can't wait to see what she thinks about THAT.
Having Kevin here was a big help, he got her into the paddock. He listened to me vent because I was upset and worried. He was there this morning when I wanted him to check on her, because I was afraid to.
I still don't take him for granted. Spending a year alone is a very long time - and it's not something I'll soon forget. There were too many moments I was sure I would never make it without him, but we struggled through, and here we are. A family of five on the verge of becoming a family of six. In the middle of a gorgeous spring, three beautiful kids, a plot of land filled with the sound of birds and the neigh of horses. Right now Brandi is separated from Rosie and calling out to her - she sure is attached to her pony friend.
Right now, as I'm sitting here feeling the baby kick and squirm, listening to the call of the outside creatures and the distant splash of water as Kevin bathes Lex, I know this is what I waited for. This is what we missed last year, this is what we needed so badly.
And now that it is here, what more could I want?
Besides the somewhat timely arrival of baby #4, that is :)

Finally!

No - I didn't have the baby, but I did get Gwen's dress done. It's been hanging out in my closet since last summer, and I finally got around to sewing it up this morning. It was one of those easy things that I just kept putting off. But Gwen is thrilled, and we found a nearby field of flowers to take a few pics in on the way back from Brunch. I'm going to try a different dress and head to the field again tomorrow, since I know the flowers will soon be gone.

Currently, the rest of the days are filled with working (yes, I'm still working), cleaning, and hanging out with Kevin and the kids. And of course waiting for the new little one to arrive.
If you have some time, could you say a quick prayer that this baby comes on his/her own? I don't want to be induced, I want a natural labor and delivery, but with Lex's birth weight and the hemorrhaging afterwards they are already talking about induction before I hit 42 weeks. I'm willing to go almost 2 weeks late, but I pray this child arrives before then.
I'm terrible swollen, but physically everything is going great. The baby is happy, and I actually feel really good today. I hope it lasts throughout the day, it's the first day in a long time I've felt good. I was able to have the kitchen scrubbed before 9 am!!
Well, off to take a nap so my good mood will continue. I'll definitely update with a belly pic once Kevin gets around to taking the latest one. I have one, but it is when the kids painted my tummy (which they loved) but I'm not ready to share that with the world :)

Still Pregnant

38 weeks

At this point, it feels like I've been pregnant forever. Of course, in the scheme of things, it definitely hasn't been forever. Thankfully, other than the usual aches and pains associated with a growing stomach, everything is going great. Baby is happy, great heart rate, and I'm gaining a pound a week (ouch!) but measuring fine. A bit large, but the baby is estimated at 8.5-9lb at my due date, which really isn't too bad. The swelling is annoying, in my feet / legs / hands and sometimes in my face. I can't bend my fingers without them hurting they are so swollen, and that makes working hard, considering that I type on a computer all day.
And speaking of work - I am a bit weary of all the pregnant lady comments. The comments about how I look like I'm carrying a basketball, how I will NEVER make it to my due date (want to bet on that one??), how uncomfortable I look. Which of course makes me feel like I must look pretty bad :) I keep getting asked when my last day of work will be, and I have to keep saying that whenever the baby decides it is time to come. If I take off early, that is just less time I get to spend at home with the new little one.
Vent over. I have 11 days until my due date. I've never gone early - or even thought about going early with three (going on four!) kids, so I doubt it will happen this time. If it does, great, but I don't want to count on it and then get disappointed. Sure, the baby was engaged at 37 weeks. But most people know that doesn't mean anything at all. And considering that induction is NOT a possibility, with the exception of fetal or maternal distress, or just going overdue too far, we'll just have to wait this one out.
It's a chilly, sunny day here in Indiana, but that's okay. This morning I woke up to the sound of birds and horses, and when I looked out, saw that everything was luscious and green from all the rain. Spring is a time of new growth, new life, rejuvenation. And soon enough we'll be holding another new life in our arms.